


Loss

by Missy3000



Category: Carry On - Fandom, Snowbaz - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Loss, Mourning, No Blood, Save my baby, Self Loathing, Song fic, just tears, no violence, why did I do this to him?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 03:22:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16846162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy3000/pseuds/Missy3000
Summary: He leaned against the cold stone, begging for the tears to stop streaming, for the pain to end. He wish he could talk to someone, someone who understood him. But the only ones that would were his father and his worst enemy. He couldn’t decide which the worse option was.Baz has a bad day.





	Loss

She asked me son, when I grow old, will you buy me a house of gold? 

He thought about her, the smile he has seen on so many pictures. About the bubbling happiness he connects with her image. And he wants it back, just for a minute, just for a second. He wants her by his side, wants her to take his hand and tell him “It’s gonna be alright, little puff”. 

And when your father turns to stone, will you take care of me? 

He leaned against the cold stone, begging for the tears to stop streaming, for the pain to end. He wish he could talk to someone, someone who understood him. But the only ones that would were his father and his worst enemy. He couldn’t decide which the worse option was. 

I’ll make you queen of everything you see  
I’ll put you on the map  
I’ll cure you of disease

He would have done anything to get her back. It just wasn’t fair. Why was he alive and she was dead? Why did she go? What would she think now? She would probably hate him. With all right, she would. Even he hated himself.   
But he still wished, she wouldn’t. That she would be proud of him.   
He laughed bitterly. He should stop existing, not wishing some foolish stuff. 

Let's say we up and left this town  
And turned our future upside down  
We'll make pretend that you and me  
Lived ever after happily 

When he was young, like really young, he remembers asking Fiona if it’s ever gonna stop hurting. He remembers her face, so shocked, so sad. Tears filled her eyes and she had hugged him, but she never answered. Now he knows why, because it doesn’t. It doesn’t stop. It never does.   
And even now, when his mind was filled with bronze curls and a bright smile, filled with moles and warmth, he knew, he would never get a happy ending. Happily ever after wasn’t his destiny. How should it be? He had become a monster. 

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old, will you buy me a house of gold?”

If his mother was here, he would do everything for her. Hand the moon again, if he needed to. Would rip his heart out, make her proud, prouder then anyone was ever before.   
But she wasn’t here, and he was just a pathetic whimp, too scared to end his miserable existence.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want Baz to be happy!!  
> Let my baby be happy!!  
> I hoped you sill enjoyed some angst  
> \- Missy


End file.
